You came and whispered to me, "Baby get up, its time, we need to leave..!!" Pretending half asleep I responded, "I'm too tired..another half hour please..." Deep down I needed some more time to be around you... I wasn't ready to let go yet.. Not ready, for been away from you when I just saw you after, what felt like a decade.. You told please or else I'll miss the flight and I was still adamant not to leave.. But you, as you are too stubborn, you picked me in your arms and walked to the door, it was too chilly and I would have frozen had it not been in the warmth of your arms...
You placed me gently in the car seat covered me warm and headed to the street.
It was still dark outside before dawn. And in the incandescent light of the streets it was still the December snow. I looked at you, your face flushed due to the wintry wind, those dark eyes lay doubtless today and with a straight face you were focused on the road... I thought how do you gather the strength to be away for long, strength to tell goodbye, strength not to see me for another year... Somewhere I was pissed at you being soo headstrong always.. Yet I wanted to hug you close, feel what you were being, and borrow some strength from you.. But beyond this I wanted to cry my heart out and tell you I don't want to go, not this time, since I have turned too weak to carry on with the distance all this while..!! My words failed me with My heart sinking at every mile we crossed hoping you'll sense all what I kept locked underneath.....
I don't remember when I fell asleep, it was when I felt your ice cold fingers stroking my cheeks, I rubbed my eyes and in a sharp tone I asked, "Airport..??"
You weren't astonished with my fanatic reaction instead with a smile you said, "Ohh Hon just look beyond..!!"
It was the same lighthouse I used to talk about and told always wanted to visit but couldn't since it was too far a drive and bound by the short trips I made once a year, we failed to find time.. And today, here I stood at the gallery feeling enchanted as the snow laid its white blanket around engulfing everything in its serenity and the lamp house behind soothingly lowering its flame after burning this whole time... The sky started to shine slowly welcoming the sun to start anew... My heart singing song every moment the sun peeked out a little like a child from his mother's back... The cold wind mildly erasing my thoughts before I felt asleep.. I imagined this moment always but never knew it would be mesmerising that I'd feel.. I opened my arms to the warmth and stretched to hug the rising sun... Just then you stood close behind wrapping me tenderly in those strong arms.. We kept looking at the golden sky for a while and for the first time I felt you going weak in your knees, to gather strength I knew not what for...
You released me is when, I gathered my thoughts and questioned myself why are we here instead of the airport and,
You called out my name..
I was taken aback with the sight of you on one knee. I knew what it meant and baffled I wanted to run for the street. I was not ready for this, I thought... Ready for you since somewhere due to the outgrown distance I felt aloof from and confused with you. Thoughts from each corner came gushing and it froze my heart not letting it beat.
You pulled a letter out from the pocket and started with a very cliché line, "Don't be afraid, breath my love..."
I couldn't stop giggling at this and after soo much efforts not to, I laughed thinking you bumped your head to the glass wall beside...
You smiled at the sight and continued silencing me...
"The first time when I saw you walking out from the class my heart stopped beating... I knew you were special when our eyes met that day... Since then till today you have the ability to see through my soul, read me like no one else can... Your presence stabilises me and You are what I call solace... But one thing, you always questioned with the growing distance... How do I manage to stay apart...!!?? "
You paused and I could see glimpse of tear in your eyes, before I could say anything you gulped it down and continued, "Today I want to let it all out, tell you that I cannot, cannot handle you being miles apart... I always believed you were around even though you weren't...I talked to you in those alone times, thought what would you do when things went rocky.. But nothing, nothing could ever replace the way you hugged me to tell it'll be okhie...the way you held my hand all the time...and I remember passers commenting 'New love birds'...only had they know it's being 7 years...the way you used to steal kisses even when in crowd... The way you hold my gaze across the room full of people as if I'm the only one around.. You honey at every moment were stronger than me..since you expressed soo effortlessly... And I'm tired now, tired with not having you around.. Tired of acting strong... Tired to tell I'm ok when actually I'm not...!"
I already had tears in my eyes... First time I felt I was wrong about you... First time I couldn't sense what you were actually going through.. How stupid was I, thinking you could stay away when your eyes went searching for me always... What distance does I realized for the the first time and what my heart felt was, like being struck by a bolt from the sky...
You looked at me and said, "Ohh..!! No Hon don't feel that way.. It's just that the time has taken its toll but we are still going strong... And I want to hold you back forever to make us even stronger...!!"
With this you pulled out a box from another pocket and opened to a shiny rock saying, "Will you be my forever..?? Will you let me stand by you and see you smile now and always..?? Will you Make me complete..?? Will you Give me the honour to be you man..?? Will you, 'Marry me'..?? "
I way already crying, and it felt the happiest moment ever, since in spite of the clamour I knew where my heart belonged... I got down on my knees, held your face which was glowing with the rising sun and said, "So after all we are missing the flight..??"
You taken by surprise with my reaction told,"I never had plans to get you on it... "
I was amused by the way you pulled it through and just then seeking assurance in my eyes you asked, "So that's an Yes..!!!??",
I laughed thinking how silly you can get and I kissed you saying, "Yes... Yes.. A thousand times over..!!"
You took me in your arms and kissed like never before kissed till our lips got sore...
I told you to take me home since I was freezing in the cold.. We got up looked at the new day, a new start, and how everything changed today with a rising star..
You turned to me, tucked the hairs falling to my chin behind my ear and silently said, "Thank you... Thank you for loving me..!!"
That moment I could see you shying away...blushing like a teen in love and I fell for you all over again, so I pulled you close and hugged you tight never to let go in this or another lifetime...
There we melted in each others arms just like the snow first kissed by the warm sunlight...!!
By
Sushmita :)
