Amazing Day..!!!

It was a cool winter evening and I was lying on the dew kissed grass... The sky was blanketed white and little could you see through to get a glimpse of the star line.. The leaves grey and green danced to the tune set by the cool breeze streaming, made, the perfect set for an evening I longed for... But, all of this still failed to lift me up from the gloominess I felt.. I tried to hide how miserable I had become lately but after all I'd been through was I supposed to hide, was the question raised... How I lost myself to life was I kept thinking.. Shedding it all, I sat there fussing about how it never turns out to be the way you want... How helpless I felt, losing faith in myself.. And I had none but you, with all the patience being there, listening..

I want to see them once I said, and waved to the clouds... And to my surprise, they started to clear and my heart grew fonder with every star sneaking out... In the December sky, they shone like diamonds in a bewildered night... I was overwhelmed at the sight seeing the three of my own... I smiled, and stretched my arm pointing at each one of them and they responded by twinkling brighter... I thought how they have not changed even a bit... Winter brings them with it every year to ornate the starlit sky... Do they have any other purpose I thought... Do they belong to someone I thought... Or its just me for whom they shine .!! I raised my palm and tried to hold all three of them together, but one would slip off every time... I played the game for long and the feeling there was pure like a child's heart... It got me closer all over again to the younger me, less all the worries I carried today with me... And all this time you watched profoundly..

I was pulled out of the playground when you said, "You have very tiny palms..you won't be able to hold them all at once..you know..!!" I giggled saying, " I don't want them all at once.."

"Then what is with you and the stars...??", you asked..

"When I was a kid I heard stories about them..", looking at them I started, "They came to life through the end... I used to fall asleep believing, they watch over me through the cold nights.. Older I grew, I began pouring my heart out to them... And they were there, listening silently, not judging, which made me breath easy... They always shine up there in unison and their fellowship started giving me reason strong enough to hold on and to go on... They lightened my shadowy hours and made my sunny times shine brighter, as if I'm the one purpose of their existence... It would sound absurd but they do made me have an undying faith in myself whenever I looked up to them, just like the one, a child does have in his mother...!!"

I stopped, expecting you to say something but instead we sat gazing them for quite sometime...
Turning to you I said, "Well... This is what it is with me and the stars... What is your story of strength, you never told.."

You smiled, looked at the stars and then at me and said, "YOU...!!!!"

What I felt then was indecipherable... All I left with was, twinkling eyes that smiled brighter than the stars the night... It made me feel strong like never before.. It made me want to believe in myself more... It gave all that I was looking for...
With this, I took your hand in mine and grasped the stars affirming, "Now I have all of them..!!"
You looked at me with a grin and we both burst laughing...
Catching a breath you said, "Such a Drama Queen you are..!!"
And I crowned myself saying, "Ahem.. Ahem.. Yes I'm..!!"
And we both cracked up again..

It has been more than a decade we have been best friends, how I didn't realize all this time that You are all that my stars ever could be, with you even silence means soo much more to me. You became the reason to hold on then, the reason one of the three was slipping off in play...
That day we sat there smitten by the peace around, unaware of the clock going round....
And we broke humming our favorite song by Coldplay,

We sat on a roof, named every star..
Shared every bruise and showed every scar..
Hope has its proof put your hand in mine, saying..
"Life has a beautiful, crazy design"
And time seemed to say
"Forget the world and it's weight"
And here I just want to stay

Amazing day
Amazing day

Sushmita :)

Underneath the Red Sky

It was a lonely evening by the side of a shore, I was trying to breath life into the melancholy, hoping and clinching the light creeping in form the tiniest of corners... It was me, trying to live again, but failing to find a reason, when I was standing alone at the same place where we first kissed... The kiss which felt still lingering on my lips with every breeze that touched, while I was straying along the same place I come to over and over again, to make me want to be the person before.. And there I was, standing on the shore caught in a conflict of you and me...

Deep into the reflection it was some voice that was constantly calling out interrupting me saying "Madamji, aage mat jao samundar gehera h aur lehere tez..!!"
It was when it got louder I stopped, and lost in you I never realised I walked way past from the shore, the way I walked away from being me and colored anew with your love... I stood still with knee deep water, feeling the sand taken away from beneath, every time the wave receded into the sea taking a part of me inch by inch moving me deeper...and I saw you in me triumphing, was when i prepared to give in..!!

All ready to sink into your flooding reminiscence, all ready to believe there's nothing left to look ahead for, with you not by my side, was when the water started shining making the sea beyond look, a bed of gold laid by setting sun. My gaze stuck at the horizon, I could see nothing, but the sea hugging the red sky refraining to let go. I tried to seek what lies beyond hoping that there must be an end where they would cease to be one since somewhere deep down I knew they should.. Gazing into the setting sun, changing colors around every time coming closer to the sea, as you changed my world with every step you took towards me. All my efforts were washed off and my quest came to a stand still when you echoed in the midst of all the clamour. You are like Air you called me, free, fragile and effortlessly to be loved, yet strong enough to wave a tranquil sea. It made a silent tear roll down my cheek awakening me from the thoughts making me aware that there's no end to our oneness as for the sea under the red sky, no end where we would be in silo to the world... My love for you is way beyond being together and moving on...way beyond what's right and wrong..way beyond what the humans want...you taught me to love, how can it be unlearned..?? How can I return to be the same person I used to be when you pulled me close and loved me till my cheeks hurt with joy... You turned toppled my world and painted it fresh how can it fade away with a wave to wash.??

You made me feel loved, made me feel alive, made me love and made me be wise...you were a part and always will be of my life.. I pulled myself together with all of you treasured in me...there, strength I named you and walked back to life... At the shore the waves erased the footsteps left behind...they were fading but you won't... The last wish you said is 'Me to love someone with every piece of my heart the way we did when we first kissed', is a promise I keep now that you are gone..

Like the blues of the heavens and the earth are apart still one so we will be knit together still distant till the horizon cease to shun ..!! Maybe a lifetime after we would be together, a time We would be complete underneath the red sky..!!

By,

Sushmita.. :)